The New Primal turkey stick has some good qualities. It claims to be made with free-range turkey—so happy turkeys—prior to their life-altering last moments anyway. These turkey sticks are certified gluten free and upon consumption provide 7 grams of protein, 1 gram of sugar and only 50 calories. All good.

Here’s where everything goes sideways. I spend a solid two minutes trying to dislodge the turkey stick from its packaging. I don’t question this necessarily, albeit frustrating. I just figure this turkey stick surely must be fresher if it’s that well contained in its package.

Upon successfully removing the turkey stick from its plastic bindings, I note the exterior. It’s different than what I’m used to with this type of product--harder. I give it a good tap and test it with my fingernail to see if I can add enough pressure to push through the exterior. I can’t. Hmmm…interesting.

I smell the turkey stick. Nothing strange there. Even though it’s a cilantro lime stick, I can’t pick out either cilantro or lime with my initial sniff test, but it does smell like other turkey sticks I’ve tried, so I continue.

I attempt to take a bite. Not a timid bite, but a normal human bite. I’m unsuccessful.

I snarl, raise my upper lip and go after it again and the middle of the stick comes out leaving me with a shell. I literally could not bite through the collagen casing – and yes, I have all my teeth.

So I go after the casing with my hands just to understand how tough it is. I pry and twist and bend and finally get results with a pair of scissors – but I’m certainly not going to eat it. Bleh.

I can honestly say I’ve never had a turkey stick like this, and that’s not a compliment for this product. Quite the opposite—this turkey stick is too primal for me. I don’t want to wrestle with my food while I eat it. I don’t want to use a chisel to break my food into consumable bites. I don’t want to dig my food out of an inedible chamber; I’m just lazy like that, I guess.

Eating just shouldn’t be this difficult. The taste (of the turkey stick center) was nothing special—not good, not bad—and certainly doesn’t drive me to purchase again.

I recognize this post was a bit melodramatic, so I wanted to end on a positive note. I looked up The New Primal website to find out about this company. I like good stories, and this business has one. Jason Burke, founder, is a likable character, which will drive me to purchase more of their products and give them a try.

Be sure to read The New Primal story and check out their product lineup. Not everything is encased in collagen, so there’s hope.