Oh, Simple Mills, you had me at “healthier alternative to traditional sweet treats” –a snack that claims to be chocolatey, wholesome, and guilt-free.

Simple Mills Sweet Thins…Chocolate. Brownie.

It sounds too good to be true, but here I am, staring at this box, ready to demolish it because the picture on it looks out of this world.

I was very intrigued when I found these…”thins” on Thrive Market. First I thought, “what is a thin?”

And secondly, I noticed the box said “made with watermelon seed flour,” and I thought,

Watermelon seed flour??

Who knew we were just one trendy ingredient away from turning summer picnic scraps into a snack-worthy moment?

How interesting.

These so-called “thins” promise a lot:

gluten-free, paleo, dairy-free, grain-free, non-GMO, and apparently every other -free you could possibly imagine.

The ingredients are real, and simple. And as I say a lot,

that’s my favorite food phrase.

Honestly, I half expected the box to come with a velcro cape and start solving world hunger.

But let’s not be fooled by the magic that comes from marketing sometimes…

I’m here to tell you if these snacks are truly the guilt-free brownie delight they’re pretending to be—or if they belong in the healthy snack graveyard, right next to kale (dust) chips.

I found these thins on Thrive Market for $4.79 for a 4.25 oz box.

At Walmart you can purchase them for just about double that ($8.25).

The Thrive Market price isn’t too bad, and I could make that a regular on the grocery list at that price.

The Walmart price…eh…not so much.

Reading ingredients sometimes gets me all giddy,

Mainly when they

are real and simple.

Seed (Flax seed, sunflower, watermelon seeds and cashews) and nut flour blend Baking Soda Dutch cocoa powder

Organic coconut sugar Rosemary Extract

Tapioca starch Sea Salt

Arrowroot Vanilla Extract

Dutch cocoa powder

Oh my… only 6 grams of sugar? AND they have 2 grams of protein?! In a sweet treat!?

“A healthier alternative to sweet treats” is riiiight.

Simple Mills makes many other products aside from the Sweet Thins. They make cookies, crackers, bars, pancake/waffle mix, and a lot of baking mixes. And to be brutally honest with you, when I saw all of these products, I wanted to try them all.

The company was founded in 2012 by Katilin Smith. She noticed that her body wasn’t doing so great, so she decided to completely change her diet to see if things would improve.

Well, her health improved to a whole other level, which led to her to start a company selling food products that had the power to transform how people feel.

They're even regenerative!

I did not know what regenerative meant, so I looked it up, and since I had that question, I’m sure many of you will, too.

Regenerative agriculture “is a conservation and rehabilitation approach to food and farming systems. It focuses on topsoil regeneration, increasing biodiversity, improving the water cycle, enhancing ecosystem services, supporting biosequestration, increasing resilience to climate change, and strengthening the health and vitality of farm soil” (Wikipedia).

Alright, enough of my yapping.

I finally opened the box.

The bag wasn’t half full or half empty—it was just downright optimistic about its content-to-air ratio.

I opened the bag, and the release of air from the bag smelled of sweet brownies that were on their second day of sitting on the counter…

but if I’m going to tell you the truth, I personally like them better when they’re a couple days old…

So don’t take it personal, Simple Mills.

There seemed to be a lot of thins in this bag to my surprise.

And I was pleased, there weren’t many broken ones at all.

I took one out of the box and in between my fingers it felt like it was going to be an airy crunch. It wasn’t dense like a Wheat Thin like I was actually expecting.

(*Which, by the way, I think these thins just look like a cross of cookies AND crackers*).

You know what blew my mind?

I held up a thin to the box and it was exactly the same size, and looked exactly the same as the picture on the front of the box.

Ha! Cool.

I ate one of the thins and some core memories flooded into my mind.

Have you ever had a classic Dairy Queen ice cream cake?

Do you remember the crunchy, crispy, chocolate fudge type layer in the cake?

The fudgy chocolate layer in these cakes had a hint of a more, say “bitter” chocolate.

Well, that is precisely what these “thins” taste like.

Addictive, mouth-watering… I am obsessed.

As a mom, I’m all about snacks that won’t trigger a toddler sugar high or a side-eye from my pediatrician. These thins? I could casually eat a whole bag mid tantrum and call it a win.

Heaven in a box.

I can assure you, this review was truly, as brutally honest as my four year old,

IMBH-Ohh yes, Simple Mills! You had me at chocolate brownie, and you kept me at 'gluten-free guilt.' My pantry is now your new vacation home!

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